i posted like 3 weeks ago that i’m having health issues and have been depressed and have essentially stopped eating. well it’s all really not getting much better. i’m trying to eat more but it’s become very hard for me, i’m currently in therapy trying to get the help i need and am being weighed every week to make sure my weight isn’t drastically dropping. i’m trying to turn my life around and get myself back to being healthy but right now i’m just stuck and have a lot going on but i know i’ll pull through is, it’s just going to be hard. 

if you read my “about me” section i talk about how i’ve been unhealthy in the past with how i’ve eaten and i’ve suffered from depression. well in the middle of november i began to fall back into depression and with that depression came my relapse in cutting after being clean for over a year and i began to eat less and less. i’m now going to therapy 2-3 times a week because i’m barely eating anymore and my doctor is concerned. with the way i’ve been eating i’m surprised i haven’t passed out and ended up in the hospital. nobody has really been able to put a label on anything yet but all i know is my eating habits are becoming extremely unhealthy again and i’ve begun to look at myself very negatively. i thought about deleting this blog but i don’t think i will because i need to get healthy again and this blog has motivated me and i’ve gotten so many wonderful messages on here. i will update every so often but as of right now i need to get better. i hope everyone is doing well on their journey to being healthy<3 

so i’m sorry i haven’t been on as much, i’ve been really busy with school and work and my semester at school is almost over so i’m going to be doing a lot of studying for finals! but anyway i went to the doctor today for a check up and he weighed me and i weigh 132 pounds :) i’m so close to my 5th goal weight and it feels great! also the last time i weighed this much was when i was 12, 5 years ago! for the first time in 5 years i went to the doctor and didn’t have to hear the words “you need to lose weight” 

so i haven’t weighed myself in a little over a week so i felt it was time to get on the scale again and the number said 134.6!!!! i’m sooo happy! i lost almost 3 pounds, i was only expecting maybe a pound to be gone! i’m going to be resuming my normal weigh in days again starting next wednesday (11/23) i’m finally back on track again and now i’m off to the gym!