i am on the recovery road. the past 6 months have been very difficult. i’ve been severely depressed, cutting myself, i stopped eating and have been diagnosed with an eating disorder which i apparently have had since i was younger and talking to my therapist and bringing up some past experiences has definitely made that clear for me, i had to take an official “leave of absence” from school because it all got so bad but i’m still working and going to therapy 2 days a week. i haven’t been in the right mindset at all and i’m trying very hard to get myself back on track and healthy again. i need to start eating healthy no matter what the thoughts in my mind are screaming at me. it’s either that or i will eventually end up in the hospital. i also need to start exercising again once i begin eating more because i’m very weak right now and this will also help my depression. so i am going to start posting on this blog more again! i hope everyone is doing well :) 

if you read my “about me” section i talk about how i’ve been unhealthy in the past with how i’ve eaten and i’ve suffered from depression. well in the middle of november i began to fall back into depression and with that depression came my relapse in cutting after being clean for over a year and i began to eat less and less. i’m now going to therapy 2-3 times a week because i’m barely eating anymore and my doctor is concerned. with the way i’ve been eating i’m surprised i haven’t passed out and ended up in the hospital. nobody has really been able to put a label on anything yet but all i know is my eating habits are becoming extremely unhealthy again and i’ve begun to look at myself very negatively. i thought about deleting this blog but i don’t think i will because i need to get healthy again and this blog has motivated me and i’ve gotten so many wonderful messages on here. i will update every so often but as of right now i need to get better. i hope everyone is doing well on their journey to being healthy<3